Not That Complicated

Mother's Day left me tearful. I'm finding myself feeling anger and sadness as June is just around the corner which means July is sure to come. I kept saying my anger wasn't with a person, but it was anger that this is the way is has to be, anger that this has to happen at all. Truth is, though, I'm angry at God. I'm angry that he didn't intervene. I'm angry that he knew how much I depended on you and how you ministered to me on so many levels. God knows I've been angry, he is I Am after all. God knows that I hurt, He sees me when I cry, He hears me when I have little invisible conversation with you. This week when I was telling you "I'm just plain mad," I could see you standing in front of me saying, "Mom, get a grip. It's going to be okay. What's the worst that could happen? I already died." It was that unmistakable voice you used when you would assure me, "Hey, I got this." I know you think all of