Not That Complicated

For the past year while going to work,  I have driven passed a trailer with writing on the side.  In black spray paint there are the words, "Never Give Up." I don't know how long it's been there.  I only started noticing it after Josh died.  The first time it caught my eye, I stopped and thought, "Wow, Josh you are speaking right to me."  Today as I passed, it occurred to me that time was passing quickly.  For all I know, the trailer won't be there tomorrow, so I stopped and took a picture.  This is just one of my little Josh symbols over the past year. Another one happened a couple of weeks ago when a young man was painting the posts on my front porch.  He had a hard story and was really looking for someone to talk to.  Six months earlier he had been in a serious accident where he died three different times.  It left him changed.  He found he was more emotional and had lost interest in the things that used to hold his atte...

August 2016 Out of the mouth of babes.-- It was August, 2016 and Josh had left a little sign on my mantle.  It could have been directed at any of the three adults living there, myself included.   Today, though, it takes on new meaning.  It's like Josh is exhorting me personally to keep pressing forward, to not just stop and settle.   When I try to think about what makes me feel alive, I think of how I feel when I'm painting or writing.  It's hard to explain.  It's a private moment that I feel my most authentic self.  I feel freedom to put pretense aside and just become alive in the moment.  It's a place I find I can loose myself for hours and be completely oblivious of the loss of time.  Not a mind numbing loss of time like television.  More of a squeezing every last drop out of the moment.  Josh lived that way a lot, squeezing the last minutes out of the day. The sign challenges me.  Will I look more...

It was at sunset one evening and Josh was on his way out of the house.  "Mom, you gotta see this, it's incredible!" Before I could get up and get to the porch, he grabbed my phone and snapped this picture of a moth. It was large and unusual, It hung upside down on the roof of the porch.  I looked at it and said, "Thanks."  "I knew you would think it was cool." he said. I did think it was cool.   God's creation has always captivated my attention and imagination.  The colors, the shapes, the designs in nature just amaze me at God's generosity to his children who he has given eyes to see and a mind to appreciate the beauty that is everywhere.  I shared that with Josh.  I would look for opportunities to point out sunsets, cloud patterns,  birds in flight, anything and everything  in nature.  Have you ever noticed  how the highest leaves in a group of trees seem to be waving at God to get his attention.  Just an occasional ...